A final taste of heaven...

After meeting up with the girl of my dreams one Friday night but screwing up my chances with her not once, but twice in a row in a very comical and socially awkward way (read previous posts to catch up with the story: Chatting up in the queue of the toilets, Chatting up from the distance and, How to ruin a second chance with a girl: a narrated guide), I had little expectations about getting a third chance with dreadlocks girl. I was ready to accept that “what starts off with the wrong foot will most likely end in a stumble” so I decided to move on and carry on with my life.

Nevertheless, despite the many online dates and the few other flirtations around, I was not able to find any girl that matched dreadlocks girl. She was not only the type of person that I would want as a partner, a humble and caring social worker, but she was physically perfect in my eyes. Just a note to my readers, she was perhaps not objectively incredibly attractive, a few of my friends commented that they did not think that she was pretty, but beauty is subjective and to me, she was a goddess. She had the kind of face that I could stare at for an eternity and a strange halo that appeared around her figure every time I looked at her. In my quest to find love around the city, I could not seem to find anyone that replicated that effect on me.

Perhaps we just want to have what we can’t, and my platonic obsession with dreadlocks girl was only a reflection of my self-sabotaging mind. When it comes to love, being unhappy was my comfort zone. All of my past attempts at romantic relationships took place in the suffering area where rejection, non-reciprocation and disappointment were my best friends. My brain probably kept feeding into the idea that dreadlocks girl was perfect just because I could not have her and I was very aware of that paradox.

In any case, during the next two years of my life, I saw her a few times in clubs and bars around the scene. Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to approach her and beg for a third chance as she always seemed to be in the company of the same girl (and judging by the way that they interacted I figured that they were a “long term-thing”). Nevertheless, we never stopped greeting each other every time we crossed paths and we even hold short conversations in the bathroom and club queues (for a change) a few times.

Girls 4 Pride. Street Art found in Brighton. Picture taken in August 2016.

But one night, just after I decided to move back to my beloved Brighton I got a third chance to make amends with her.

It was about 3 a.m. and I was leaving the club on my own after a very emotional farewell when I heard someone calling me from the smoking area:

“Hey Cassanova… !!!” Dreadlocks girl said trying to grab my attention as I was walking by with my head down trying to leave the club unnoticed.

“Hey! Where are you going???” She insisted. I was not in the mood for a chat with her that night after having such an emotional and wonderful night with my friends, but I finally turned around.

“I’m going home!” I said sharply and continued walking avoiding any type of eye contact with her so she would not notice my watery eyes.

“Are you OK?” She asked putting down her cigarette and stepping outside the smoking area following my steps.

“Yeah…. I’m just… I’m moving away next week for work and I’m not sure now that I’ve made the right decision  and…” I started to reply but stopped as soon as I noticed that my voice got emotional and I felt a tear running down my cheek.

“Hey, do you want to talk about it?” She said while passing her arm around me in a very comforting way. I was unsure of why she would even care in the first place, but her warm gesture and trustworthy gaze made me stay and ventilate all of my emotions right there outside the club.

I told her about my dilemma between pursuing my dream career (doing a PhD and becoming an academic) or staying in the city and working in an unbearable marketing job but being surrounded by my amazing friends and family. She was very understanding. Perhaps due to her professional training as a social worker and her undergraduate degree in psychology, she was able to offer me some interesting perspectives about my life-changing decision. She told me that she had to make that same choice once and that she went for achieving her dreams (in her case it was to help the world by becoming an awesome, very caring and, ultimately a very cool social worker). She said that my friends and family would always be there for me, but that my chances of doing what I wanted were likely to come only once.

“If you miss your train now, you might never get a second ticket…” She said while holding her hand on my shoulder.

“That’s very true… I missed my chances with you and I never got to another one” I replied.

WHAT? Did those words just come out of my mouth? 

I guess that as I was leaving for good the week after, I had nothing to lose and my brain just decided to start shooting out the truth.

“Yeah… you messed up a bit back then…” She replied smiling. It was still incomprehensible to me why she was taking her time in the first place to console me after all of my screws up. Her kindness made her even more desirable to me.

“Can I kiss you?” I suddenly said.

WHAT???? I am going nuts???? Did I just ask her permission for a kiss??? Well... at least I’m not a kiss attacker like the conservative-right-wing chick that ruined my second chance with her I guess…

Street Art piece found in Brighton. Picture taken in August 2016.

 An intense and long silence followed my words.

I interpreted her non-responsiveness and intense gaze as a positive sign so, I prepared myself to kiss her.

“I….” She started to reply as I was launching myself towards her lips.

I kissed her and she kissed me back. It was a perfect kiss, not too long, not too shot, and just about the right amount of tongue and emotional investment. I got to a taste of heaven for about a minute or so.

I looked at her deeply again and smiled.

“I… I got a girlfriend” She dubiously said and looked away.

“That’s all right… I’m moving away for good next week anyway… I assumed a while ago that we were not going to happen but I just wanted to kiss you before leaving…” I said very confidently. I was amazed at my brave behaviour and calm response. I guess that the few gin & tonics that I consumed that night might have helped.

She stared at me for a minute in silence not really knowing what to say next. I could see in her eyes that she might have felt something special after that kiss and that perhaps, she was now wondering about what we could have been, just as I did every time that I bumped into her over the past two years. 

At that moment, I saw a cab approaching in the distance and jumped towards the road.

“I… I’m going to take that cab… If I miss the chance to get a ride now, I might not get another one…” I said winking my eye and rushing to make a sign for the driver to stop.

I knew that finding an available taxi in that neighbourhood at that particular time was rare. So, I decided to put in place dreadlocks girl’s own recommendation about taking the opportunities when they were in front of me. I needed to look forward to the future now so I jumped into the cab with my head high and waved goodbye.

Dreadlocks girl did not turn out to be “my one”, but at least I got a taste of heaven and I will keep that moment in my memory forever.

The End.

PS: Despite the surrealism of the story, this is a true story and it happened as it has been narrated!