7 common break-up lines: what do they really mean!

Have you been dumped with a ready-made break-up line and wondered what did it really mean? Based on my experience as an online (and offline) serial dater, I learned to decode the Rejector -Rejected language. Here is a list of some common break-up lines and my possible interpretations.

A note of warning before reading this post: My translation skills are not perfect. The true meaning behind the words of your rejector can only be explained by that person. Asking for some extra elaboration straight from the source in case of confusion is always recommended. However, not always getting in touch with former lovers for answers is an option. My humble guide aims to help rejected ones with getting some closure.

1. Is not you, it's me = I don't think that you are right for me.

If you think carefully about this cliché line, in a way it is saying that it is you... but also them! They feel that you are just not right for them, but you will be definitely suitable for someone else... Keep looking and you will find someone that feels differently about you. There's a lid for every pot!

2. I don't think that this is working anymore = I can't be bothered to make this work anymore.

For whatever reason, your ex-lover doesn’t want to invest more time and effort in you and your story. Unfortunately, you can't force someone to love you, so it might be time to move on! The world is full of people that are ready to love, so don't waste your time with someone who isn't!

3. I don't see where this is going = I don't see any future with you.

They probably don't even know where they want to go in the first place... But one thing is sure, that you are not in their future plans. Not being in someone else's future plans is always painful but think that always the future is uncertain... a lot of things can happen like meeting someone that can see the future with you. Keep looking!

4. I'm not LOOKING for a relationship right now = I don't want to be in a relationship with YOU, but if I find someone else that interests me enough, I'll definitely give it a go...

Don't be surprised if a few months down the line you bump into your "ex" on the street and they are already married and waiting for their first child... Nobody is looking for a relationship, but if they find someone that makes them feel "that thing" that everyone talks about, they will jump into it. You should be with someone that is ready to jump with you... You deserve it! 

5. I don't have TIME for a relationship right now. I'm very busy and/or stressed out with work at the moment = I can be bothered to spend more time with you and blame it on my work.

If you really want to see someone, you make the time somehow! Don't wait for them, they are not going to be less busy in the near future for you... It's their loss!! If they don't want to make time for you, find someone else who will!

6. I'm just not READY for a relationship right now = I still have unresolved feelings for somebody else.

Who is ever ready for a relationship? If you are genuinely interested in someone, you just don't think about being ready or not, you just jump into whatever there is... So, it might be that there is something else holding them from jumping... Again, it's their loss!! If they are not emotionally available, find someone who is!

7. I met someone else = I met someone else.

If you hear this words at least you should be grateful that they are telling you the truth. If they were able to met someone else, so are you.... take some time if you need, but put yourself out there again to find someone else too!

The general meaning behind these common break-up lines is that THEY WERE PROBABLY NOT THAT INTO YOU AND YOU SHOULD MOVE ON!

I don't understand why people try to be nice when breaking up with someone! A breakup is a break-up and it will hurt regardless of the way that it is served. Honesty over politeness should always be a MUST when breaking up with someone...

I think that for once in my life I would like someone to break up with me with the honest and blunt line "I'm just not that into you" Why do people try to be nice? If you are breaking up with someone, so you are hurting them anyway, you might as well save them the trouble of wondering "what did they really mean" if you just say what you mean and feel.

The good news for you is that research on breakups says that over time the one that does the break up usually ends up having in high regard the person that they dumped. However, if you are the one that is being rejected, you will start to develop negative feelings for that person as they hurt you. It is our own psychological immune system that protects us from being hurt by that person again.

There are plenty of singles out there looking to meet their other half, so get out there as you might be luckier next time...

Look both ways. San Francisco, 2014.

The power of the Unicorn

"Why do you still believe in Unicorns? Aren't you a bit too old for all of that?" He asked.

I knew that he was just trying to get me out of my own self-deception and he meant well. But his question felt as if he was trying to unplug me from a life-support machine.

"Because if I don't... I don't see why would I even care about keeping on breathing anymore" I said with a trembling voice and I poured myself a bit more of that cheap red wine that was tinting the white plastic cup.

"I don't understand... You KNOW that they aren't real... You are a rational scientist, it doesn't make any sense..." He said and then looked away again to the infinity of the sea.

I was starting to get annoyed... Perhaps not as much at him as I was starting to get mad at myself. The bucolic idea of going to the seafront to watch the sunset in March didn't turn out to be as good as it seemed in my mind. It was cold and windy and, sitting down on the wet pebbles was very inconvenient.


I had no energy left in me that day after receiving that awful phone call, but I felt that I needed to give him "the speech". He was also probably my favourite person at the office, so I made the effort and stood up. I think that deep down, I was the one in need of convincing myself of my own beliefs.

"Ok, here we go..." I said and I positioned myself in front of him. I cleared my throat and moved my arms around. I was getting ready for my improvised lecture on "The power of the Unicorn 101".

Quick drawing painted with highlighters from 2012.

"I believe in Unicorns because I need to believe that there is something else, something special, some magic in the world... Something that is beautiful and pointless, something that is impractical and that has no meaning but that it gives meaning to everything around... I believe in Unicorns because the simple act of living doesn't make any sense... Why are we here? Why do we live and breathe? Why do we even exist?... I need to believe in something, we all do... Even if it is irrational and contradicts everything that I have seen or experienced... Even if it is absurd and stupid... I suspend my rational and scientific judgement with Unicorns because if I start questioning their existence it is likely that my own existence might lose its meaning... So, I consciously leave this one go... I let this only irrational belief in my mind... just this one..." I said and then downed my glass of wine, took a deep breath and, got ready to continue.

"I believe in Unicorns because if I stop believing in that magic sparkling glitter that makes everything all right I will get drained in my lonely and mundane everyday existence... and I want to believe that for just a moment, even if it is just a second, I can connect with someone... that I'm not alone in this world, that I can share a little magical moment of happiness with someone, that I am being understood by someone... That someone CAN actually love me... even if it is only for one night... So yes, I am a believer even if it is irrational and silly... I DO believe in Unicorns".

He remained silent for a few seconds and said:

"We were not talking about Unicorns, were we?"

March 2016. Sunset at the Brighton seafront.