In general, 100 online messages sent = 0 lesbian dates.
But one day suddenly 110 messages transform into 2 dates on the same day! This is the story of my double online date on a very warm spring Thursday evening in Brighton:
After my offline dating failures of 2015/16, I decided to embrace the unpredictable lottery of internet dating again. I started to chat with a few people, but nothing seemed to lead to any real dates. On Monday evening, a girl (let's call her Jane) asked me to go for a drink that Thursday. I replied to her message accepting the invitation. However, she never replied to me back confirming the time or place after that.
A few days passed with no news from Jane. On Thursday morning, as I was checking Tinder to see if she had replied to my message, already assuming that there was not going to be a date, I received a message from another girl (let's call her Carol).
Carol and I seemed to have few common 2nd connections on Facebook according to Tinder, so we started a blind guess game to see if we could find the common link between us. She told me that I looked familiar to her and that, perhaps, we might have seen or met before in Brighton. I confess that I was sharing the same feeling about her. Could have we met before?
As I was working at my desk, surrounded by my office mates, I sent her my phone number so we could continue chatting outside the Tinder App. I had already accumulated enough embarrassing dating stories around the office during the previous year, so the last thing I wanted was to be seen chatting on Tinder during working hours (Read previous posts "... but... she doesn't like me" or "and... she likes someone else").
A few minutes later, I received the following text message:
"I put your number in my phone and the crazy thing is I already had it under a different name!!! Alaska? Are you the same person? I can't quite remember the circumstances around acquiring the number, but it might have been at a club in London years ago... Hahahaha... my phone is pretty damn old after all..."
I jumped from my desk when I read the name Alaska. It was my alias on my Gaydargirls’ old account. I opened a profile there back in 2008 as my “finding love” year’s resolution (Read my post: My first online date) but I had barely used it for the last 5 or 6 years.
Would it be possible that Carol and I have gone on a date before?
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| Brighton Seafront Graffiti. March 2016. |
I replied that it might be possible that we exchanged numbers years ago, but that I thought that we might have never ended up meeting. I added that we should try to grab a drink this time.
Finding a time for meeting up that weekend seemed difficult, so she proposed to meet up that evening for a quick drink. I agreed since my plans with Jane didn’t seem to be confirmed after all.
Nevertheless, one hour later, when the excitement about meeting intriguing Carol that night was still running high, I received a message from Jane apologizing for her late reply and confirming the date for tonight.
What do I do now?
Can I meet two girls on the same night?
I really wanted to meet up with Carol and solve the mystery of the previously exchanged phone number and the common connections that we seemed to have. But on the other hand, I already made plans with Jane days ago and cancelling last minute might not be very polite.
Should I meet Carol to satisfy my curiosity or should I meet Jane and keep up my word? Luckily for me, they were, in their own way, equally attractive, so I was free of the temptation of making a decision based on looks. Nevertheless, my indecision led me to schedule both dates for that night but 1.5 hours apart from each other.
I was meeting Jane at the White Rabbit at 8 pm. She was already there when I arrived. She was definitely prettier than in her online profile pictures, but unfortunately, our conversation didn’t flow much.
I tried not to talk too much, but whenever I tried to get more information from her, she replied in a very vague way and displayed minimum details about herself, her hobbies or her life.
I decided to move the conversation into the “Brighton and being gay” topic, since living in the same city and sharing the same sexual orientation was, at least, something that we had in common. We both agreed on the fact that the lesbian leisure agenda around the area is heavily dominated by team sports. Lonely exercisers that love running, cycling or swimming don’t get to meet other women as easily as rugby, hockey, football or Roller Derby players.
One hour after, both drinks were finished. Perhaps it was time to start putting in place my escape plan so I could get to my second date in time before a second drink could be suggested.
I told Jane that my housemate was coming back from holidays and had no keys to the house, so I needed to get back early as I was expecting a call from him any minute now. She didn’t seem very bothered by my poorly elaborated lie. If anything, she seemed relieved.
We should meet some other time” I said after hugging her goodbye. I felt curious about her mysteriousness and thought that overall, for a first date, it didn’t go that bad (Read another post of my blog to get an idea of bad dates examples: The music-Nazi girl or an uncomfortable date at the seafront).
“Sure” She replied raising her eyebrows.
However, a glint of irony on Jane’s face and her tune hinted to that she was not planning to meet me again anytime soon.
“Oh well… it’s her loss!” I thought to myself. I need to go now but her house seemed to be in the same walking direction that The Marlborough, the pub was my second date was happening and the only territory that has been claimed by lesbians and trans in the Brighton nightlife.
I left in the opposite direction only to lose sight of my date number one, walking with my self-esteem a bit down after her rejection and feeling completely stupid for walking in circles around the North Lanes.
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| Bansky's Kissing Coppers. Frederic Pl, Brighton North Lanes. |
When I arrived at the second pub, Carol was waiting at the bar chatting with some people. Apparently, she didn’t know them but started to chat with them while ordering and so we spend the first 10 minutes of our date with two middle-aged gay men from Australia that bought me a drink out of the blue.
One free drink and very positive vibes: date number two could have not started better. I confess that my first impression of Carol was that she looked slightly less attractive than in her profile pictures. However, she was definitely much chattier and more open than Jane and the conversation flowed well.
Once again, I found myself with two empty drinks in front of me and one date staring into my eyes. Should I suggest a second drink now?
“Do you want another round?” Carol said anticipating my thoughts.
“I do, but I’m perhaps non-alcoholic,” I said in my attempt of being responsible on a school night.
I don’t usually drink, so the previous drink with Jane plus the free one with Carol was enough for me to start feeling a bit tipsy.
“I need to catch on the last train thought, I’m staying with my parents in Lewes,” She said looking at her very big manly watch.
“Right, so you don’t live in Brighton?” I asked.
“Actually… I live in Lincon, I’m just visiting my parents for the bank holiday weekend” She confessed.
Lincoln? That is further away from Sheffield, which is about 3 to 4 hours by train…. That is very inconvenient for planning a second date! I thought. Well…, she might just want to have some fun for the night… I’m fine with that I guess... She is pretty, interesting and cheerful, so, why not?
When we finished our second drink, she rushed her way out of the pub so she could catch the last train. Since I live in the same direction, I walked with her to the train station. When we got to my street, I stopped her.
“Do you want to come up?” I asked.
“I need to catch the train” She replied very firmly.
“Right, so, do you want to plan a second date then? I said in a slightly drunken manner.
“I’m not back in Brighton until next month or so, but yeah! I let you know when I’m around again” She said. She sounded genuine and honest.
“I need to run now to catch the train” She finally said.
“Well, if you miss it, you can always stay at mine and grab the first one in the morning” I added.
An awkward moment of silence followed my words. She looked at me for a minute before she started running to the train station.
By the time I got into my house and started to get into my pyjamas, I got a message from Carol:
“Thanks for a really interesting evening… It was great to meet you for the first time/maybe a second time ;) I was very tempted to take you up on that offer, but I don’t really want to do that on the first time meeting… XC”
To be continued…
