I feel bad about not remembering the name
of some of the girls with whom I shared a coffee with, but it was about a year
ago and I am a completely disaster with names.... specially with guys names...
I never ever remember my friends’ boyfriends names... I guess because they are
straight males and I am not particularly interested in them so my brain saves
the space for something more useful to remember.... Anyway... I will call this
girl the Polish-looking tall accountant....
The Polish-looking tall accountant Story
So, about a year ago I got a message from the Polish-looking extra-tall accountant, not sure through which website, but we ended up exchanging numbers and messaging each other through WhatsApp... I rather met the person in real life soon after you both like each other than investing a lot of time in exchanging a ridiculous amount of texts before knowing if there is feeling or not... so I asked her for coffee... in the meantime, she kept on texting me every 5 seconds with not very relevant information.... I played the game for a bit since we were meeting for coffee in two days and she said that she was bored traveling on a train... but then the day after she started the same game again, she send me a ridiculous amount of messages without very relevant information... so from the beginning I could see that she was a bit needy and possibly a bit intense.... but she was hot... and maybe it was her first time doing the online dating thing and she didn't know the rules... so, I decided not to prejudge her and I met her for coffee....
We met at a coffee place near my house. It took me a while to know who she was as she didn't look like her pictures at all... and it was not due an intensive amount of Photoshop or filters from Instagram, it was just that she happened to choose, maybe strategically, pictures that didn't look like her.... She was still very good looking, but very different from her pictures.... two things that I noticed just from the beginning: 1) she was ridiculously tall, I am 5'3 (160cm), so I know about my height limitations and accept that more than half of the population of women are taller than me, but she was at least 6'5 (2 meters)... I confess that I prefer girls my size... but I also think that height should not be an issue as it is a physical characteristic and therefore, it is genetic and not within a person's choice or affects their character..... but 2) She did not put any effort on her appearance despite of having the beauty and body of a top model... She was wearing a T-Shit with bobbles that had not even seen better days as had the color and pattern of my grandma's living room curtains... a pair of shorts that might have seen better days, but they were on the verge of not even qualify for a charity donation... and her hair.... I know that some people's hair tend to be oilier, but the beauty industry has developed an extensive and affordable range of products to prevent that.... I want to say at this point that I am not a superficial person, but you never get a second chance for a first impression and she didn't make an effort for the evening. I think that you can tell a lot about a person’s mindset by their presentation, for a start, if they don't take care of themselves you can deduce that they might be lazy (as washing your hair from time to time is not that hard work...), or they might not have control and autonomy over their life... so, by her appearance, I deduced that she was perhaps depressed....
I surprisingly discovered that she wasn't Polish or had any Middle East relatives... I don't know how I got that idea in my mind.... anyway... She was an accountant but she was currently in between jobs (ahhhhh.... maybe that's why she was depressed...)... she was also having a very hard time with coming out (something else that might confirmed the depression hypothesis). I tend to empathize with people that had a hard time coming out since I myself did not came out with rainbows and unicorns.... so I listened to her... and after 30 minutes I definitely diagnosed depression + some possible other insecurities that made her seem very needy... I am not anyone's princess in a white horse that will rescue them from their misery... I believe that of course you need to support your friends and family through tough times, but I don't think that it is a good idea to start dating a stranger that is clearly not in their best moment of their life... unless you like to play that game... If you haven't read it or hear about, there is a very good book called: "Games People Play" where Eric Berne explains his theory of communication and interaction and how couples play games. I don't remember all of them but I could imagine that the 'I am sad and lonely and in need for lots of attention and cuddles' player and the 'I like to rescue lost puppies' player look for each other and create a game ....these games usually fulfil both player's psychological needs but they create a very toxic relationship....
We didn't message each other after that coffee, it was clear that we both realized that there was not chemistry and that we were in different places and times in our lives... I hope that she has overcome all her problems, found a job, got a girlfriend and she is happy now... after all she was very very pretty and seem to be kind-hearted, despite of the fact that she only talked about her-self during coffee...
Anyway, this time the frog did not turned into a princess but I still have hope that someday will....
The Polish-looking tall accountant Story
So, about a year ago I got a message from the Polish-looking extra-tall accountant, not sure through which website, but we ended up exchanging numbers and messaging each other through WhatsApp... I rather met the person in real life soon after you both like each other than investing a lot of time in exchanging a ridiculous amount of texts before knowing if there is feeling or not... so I asked her for coffee... in the meantime, she kept on texting me every 5 seconds with not very relevant information.... I played the game for a bit since we were meeting for coffee in two days and she said that she was bored traveling on a train... but then the day after she started the same game again, she send me a ridiculous amount of messages without very relevant information... so from the beginning I could see that she was a bit needy and possibly a bit intense.... but she was hot... and maybe it was her first time doing the online dating thing and she didn't know the rules... so, I decided not to prejudge her and I met her for coffee....
We met at a coffee place near my house. It took me a while to know who she was as she didn't look like her pictures at all... and it was not due an intensive amount of Photoshop or filters from Instagram, it was just that she happened to choose, maybe strategically, pictures that didn't look like her.... She was still very good looking, but very different from her pictures.... two things that I noticed just from the beginning: 1) she was ridiculously tall, I am 5'3 (160cm), so I know about my height limitations and accept that more than half of the population of women are taller than me, but she was at least 6'5 (2 meters)... I confess that I prefer girls my size... but I also think that height should not be an issue as it is a physical characteristic and therefore, it is genetic and not within a person's choice or affects their character..... but 2) She did not put any effort on her appearance despite of having the beauty and body of a top model... She was wearing a T-Shit with bobbles that had not even seen better days as had the color and pattern of my grandma's living room curtains... a pair of shorts that might have seen better days, but they were on the verge of not even qualify for a charity donation... and her hair.... I know that some people's hair tend to be oilier, but the beauty industry has developed an extensive and affordable range of products to prevent that.... I want to say at this point that I am not a superficial person, but you never get a second chance for a first impression and she didn't make an effort for the evening. I think that you can tell a lot about a person’s mindset by their presentation, for a start, if they don't take care of themselves you can deduce that they might be lazy (as washing your hair from time to time is not that hard work...), or they might not have control and autonomy over their life... so, by her appearance, I deduced that she was perhaps depressed....
I surprisingly discovered that she wasn't Polish or had any Middle East relatives... I don't know how I got that idea in my mind.... anyway... She was an accountant but she was currently in between jobs (ahhhhh.... maybe that's why she was depressed...)... she was also having a very hard time with coming out (something else that might confirmed the depression hypothesis). I tend to empathize with people that had a hard time coming out since I myself did not came out with rainbows and unicorns.... so I listened to her... and after 30 minutes I definitely diagnosed depression + some possible other insecurities that made her seem very needy... I am not anyone's princess in a white horse that will rescue them from their misery... I believe that of course you need to support your friends and family through tough times, but I don't think that it is a good idea to start dating a stranger that is clearly not in their best moment of their life... unless you like to play that game... If you haven't read it or hear about, there is a very good book called: "Games People Play" where Eric Berne explains his theory of communication and interaction and how couples play games. I don't remember all of them but I could imagine that the 'I am sad and lonely and in need for lots of attention and cuddles' player and the 'I like to rescue lost puppies' player look for each other and create a game ....these games usually fulfil both player's psychological needs but they create a very toxic relationship....
We didn't message each other after that coffee, it was clear that we both realized that there was not chemistry and that we were in different places and times in our lives... I hope that she has overcome all her problems, found a job, got a girlfriend and she is happy now... after all she was very very pretty and seem to be kind-hearted, despite of the fact that she only talked about her-self during coffee...
Anyway, this time the frog did not turned into a princess but I still have hope that someday will....
No comments:
Post a Comment