Love is not about finding someone to fix you....

This story, as all of the others, starts with an online message on OkCupid. I have to say that since they had the block on Firefox, and therefore, they were on the news and all over Facebook, I've noticed an increase in the number of profiles on the site.

I guess that the free publicity that they got has also been good for my online quest on finding love, as just that week I got several messages from newbies on the site.

One of the girls that messaged me was Kat: a 28 years-old bisexual that, as everyone else in the online world, was looking for love. Initially, I thought that she was not my type, but I'm open to give a chance to everyone since love is unpredictable and unexpected...

It took us a while to actually meet up. I been having a very busy month and she also had exams, but we finally agree on meeting up for coffee on the North Lanes.

We went to a coffee place near Komedia, she offered to go to the bar and order for both of us and so I asked her to bring me a herbal tea. It took her a good long 20 minutes to come back from the bar, but she finally sat down and the date started. She was tall, not too tall, but taller than me, dye bleach blonde, blue eyes and plain dressing style.

She was wearing a two decades old purple snickers that reminded me to those I had when I was 8 (how cute...). She seem not to be counting calories these days as she ordered a tall ice-latte with cream on top, actually, probably she has not been counting calories over the last decade... but I don't mind love-handles....

 We talked about sports, I recently bought a new bike and I've been cycling across Sussex, so I was telling her about my latest cycling trip. She seem to be very interested, she told me that when she first moved to Brighton she was a member of a gym and she wanted to go back to exercise again.

She also told me that she played music before, and she wanted to play music again. She also told me that she was a smoker, but she wanted to quit..... I could see that she was talking too much about her ideal self, the person she wanted to become... and too little of her actual self, the person she actually was....

According to Ayala Malach, "Why we choose the lovers we choose", we fall in love with someone who can see us for who we want to be, who can see the best version of ourselves... however, I think that trying to find someone who can fix us is not the objective....

How many times have my housemate told me that she will quit smoking once she gets a boyfriend?..... well.... you should quit smoking for yourself, exercise for yourself and explore your creative side for yourself....

 Love is not about finding someone to fix you.... You might fall in love with someone that sees you under a nice light, but you need to become who you want to be for yourself, don't expect that a magic prince/princess is going to come and solve everything that is wrong in your life....

The date ended up at the beach with very little conversation. I decided to leave, make an excuse, we were not really feeling it and I didn't wanted to force it, so I said that I had to go somewhere else.... she told me that she will call me.... but again we both knew that it was not going to happen.... oh... well.... one more OkCupid disaster I guess....