The Cinderella test

She ticks all of the boxes for being the girl of my dreams but she still has to pass the Cinderella test.

As a girl who likes shoes, it has always been my dream to find a girlfriend who shares my size so I would double the number of available pairs for me to wear in my wardrobe. Also, wearing someone’s shoes is an intimate experience, not only at a hygiene level (as your foot is sweating directly into the same space that another foot has sweated before), but it also has such powerful symbolic implications that for me, it might be the ultimate expression of true love. My dream girl would not only have to share my hobbies, interests and, have a similar vision of the world, but she would also need to share my shoe size. For her to be my Cinderella she needs to fit into my shoes and I need to fit into hers.

But how could I find out her shoe size without making myself look like a crazy person?

Given the fact that she is only an acquaintance and completely unaware of my emerging feelings towards her, asking her directly about her shoe size might be a bit awkward. Perhaps I should stop fantasizing about strangers in the first place, but I feel that I need some romance in my life, even if it is only in my mind and probably not even reciprocated. I want to have someone that occupies my thoughts this winter and she seems to be the perfect candidate… but I need to find out her shoe size first before I appoint her as the supreme princess of my own fantasy world.

Street Art found in Brighton. Picture taken in December 2016

“Nice shoes…” I said to her when we crossed paths.
  
"Want a fuck?” my inner voice echoed remembering a silly joke from a "pretending to be funny" and "useful as a conversation started" t-shirt that a guy was wearing the other day at a bar.

“Thanks, I got them on sale from a place in town last week” She replied smiling.

“Cool… what is your size?... I mean… not that I want to wear your shoes or anything… I mean… do you think that they might have them in my size?... I mean… I will probably not buy the same shoes as you… that will be weird, right?… Do they have them in a different colour?” My morning spray deodorant was not enough for the amount of sweat that my body was producing… I wish that the earth would crack and swallow me right now, but unfortunately, I had to face her puzzled gaze.

“I’m not sure… you could definitely go to the shop and look around” She said and discretely stepped away from me.

“I got to go… I’m late for this thing” She added.

“Sure, nice to see you” I replied with my head up high but my soul wringing inside.

…and there it goes my attempt number 1 of finding out her show size! I don’t think that it could get any weirder than that now… 

I put back on my giant headphones and kept on walking… There was only one song that could cheer me up after my completely socially awkward moment. So, I scrolled down my playlists in desperate need to find some musical comfort. As I heard the first notes of the piano melody I immediately started to feel better. Only my favourite Disney princess Elsa singing “Let it go” could relieve my emotional pain.

Lonely shoe found at Brighton Beach (2014).

Maybe I should seriously start thinking about growing up… I thought to myself while I started to plan my attempt number 2 of finding out her shoe size.

To be continued…